We’ve all heard them … songs of our youth turned into a kitschy advertisement. Like, “Oh, Oh, Oh, Ozempic,” to the tune of (Oh, oh, oh) “It’s Magic” from Pilot. Somehow, fighting type 2 diabetes with a catchy tune from 1974 feels off.

Love Hurts by Nazareth (from 1976) recently began gracing an Aspercreme advert. In this case, they didn’t change up the lyrics, but now I’ll forever associate that song with the tagline “Love hurts, Aspercreme works.” Ugh.

One of my favorite songs from the ‘70s, Rocketman, by Elton John, was recently co-opted and it sort of breaks my heart. In its altered state, Rocketman is part of an ad for Rakuten that starts off with, “I shopped for jeans online last night, and a yoga mat today,” instead of the more interesting original lyrics, “She packed my bags last night pre-flight, zero hour: nine AM.” “Rakuten” replaces “Rocketman” in the refrain.

Why does the Rocketman reincarnation hurts so much? I’m not entirely sure. The larger question, though, is why are so many marketers lazy? Yes, creativity has its ups and downs; you can’t turn it on like a spigot. I get that “real music” is more appealing than an annoying jingle, but as someone who works under the umbrella of marketing, I can say often the most effective work involves a strong, memorable catch phrase. No music required.

• The simple Clara Peller exclamation of “Where’s the Beef?” in the ‘80s Wendy’s ads created an almost cult-like appeal. The Wendy’s people were smart enough to stay away from “Where oh where can my beef be?” sung to the tune of “Last Kiss” (I love this version by Pearl Jam).
• “Got Milk?” is simple and memorable. The California Milk Processor Board didn’t ruin “I Got You, Babe” by Sonny and Cher with “I Got Milk, Babe!”
• “Intel Inside” became synonymous with high-quality CPUs in the ‘90s and remains so to this day. That probably means, “The Devil Inside” by INXS won’t soon be repurposed for an Intel ad.

Less egregious are the ads that try to associate their brands with a fun song, a common ploy among automakers. Think Toyota using OutKast’s “Hey Ya,” BMW using Eddie Grant’s Electric Avenue in its 2015 Superbowl ad, or Kia co-opting LFMAO’s “Party Rock” to advertise its Soul.

After the lousy 2020 most of us experienced, I probably shouldn’t be griping about lazy marketers. But it’s a new year, rife with possibilities. Perhaps just one of those possibilities is that no more of my musical favorites will go the way of Rocketman/Rakuten. In the meantime, click on the links and enjoy some good oldies!